Miserable.

I know I have a few issues.
It scares me a lot that in my head I think "Well you are going to Universal and Disney, places you've only dreamed of going to. Places that you never ever thought you would go to. And since that is it, you should just kill yourself when it's over with. Because you have no other point or purpose."
That is horrifying, but that's where I am at right now.
I'm fucking miserable dealing with the same issues and problems everyday.
People are just do insanely stupid and it is ruining my life.
I don't even want to bother any more with anything.
I just want to go to Orlando and then die.
It's not like I have a future. It's not like I will ever own my own house, or get married.
It's not like I'm ever going to succeed at a job or make enough money to keep myself alive.
It's not like I'm ever going to make it anywhere else other than the mediocrity of the place I live.
I'm just so fucking miserable. And it's getting hard to pretend again.