Maybe I'm Too Nice.

But I know I'm really not.
But maybe I am. 
When I'm mean, I'm mean. 
I'm impatient and can be very inconsiderate and rude sometimes.
But I let everyone talk over me. 
People ask for my help and I'm there.
Borrow money? If I have it, even if I know you won't pay me back when you say.
Need a ride? I'll be there.
Need some gum? Mint or Fruit?
Need food? Do you want my lunch? What would you like me to make for you.
But at the same time, Whenever I say no, I feel like I'm being judged or will be treated differently because I said no.
Whether it is personal guilt because I try to please everyone or just because I know that I will be treated differently because of my choice, I have a hard time saying no.
And I try to not ask anyone for anyone for anything because I hate hearing no. 
I will avoid asking people favors because I'm already an inconvenience so why make it worse?
But I feel like there is no return for it.
No one treats me any better. But it's at least better than treating me negatively because I chose to say no. 
How can I be so mean but let people walk all over me.
Call me "Welcome Mat" from now on please.