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Why Bother?

No one ever asks ME if I want to hang out.
I always have to go directly to someone to hang out.
And my car sucks and I hate driving, so that seems fair.
Everyone is always hanging out with each other, taking photos and here I am alone.
It's fucked up that when I was open about wanting to kill my self everyone came out of the wood works.
But where are you now?
You know that feeling doesn't go away right?
You know I think about dying every fucking day because what is the point?
I have a job that makes me feel inadequate in every way and doesn't pay nearly as much as it should.
I will never have my own place or a decent car.
The boy doesn't know how to handle my sadness or my anger.
All the people who I called "friends" just hang around with toxic trash, people who are just using you because it makes them feel better.
And here I am, alone because no one thought to ask Adrianna if she wanted to go out.
No one asked Adrianna if she wanted to watch movies, or play video games.
You all just go and do things and I'm the last person in everyone's minds. I'm just having such a hard time being nice about it when no one actively ever tries to come and see me, I always have to be the one to initiate. And I HATE bothering people and I HATE being turned down, which is always the case.
Maybe I'm just meant to be alone.
But don't come crawling to me when your "FRIENDS" hurt you like they have in the past.
Maybe I am really invisible.

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