What A shit show.

I can't sleep, all I do is work, I just want to eat everything in sight but then I'm always nauseous, I don't ever have time to shower, I can't even orgasm for christ's sake.
I never get a break. I can never just relax.
I can never just live and do what I want.
I have to wake up early, go somewhere for 10+ hours that doesn't care about me.
Come home to a boy who doesn't know how to care for me.
And then I lay down at night, toss and turn to fall asleep.
Then before I know it my alarm is going off and I'm at it again.
I get to watch everyone else slack off and have a good time and then here I am.
Miserable.
And then its all on me when I don't answer people back, when I don't go anywhere social during these weeks, when I don't make plans because I'm never sure about the future.
This is all too much.
I can't even go to the doctor because most places close before I get out of work.
And I need to go. My body is just falling apart and I don't know what to do about it.
I don't know what to do about any of it.
I just hope one day I will get slammed into by a mac truck because clearly I don't have any balls to do anything about it.