I stayed home.
I walked for coffee and went for lunch with my Grammie.
I took out the bong, cleaned it up nice, watched Spiderman Homecoming and played Fallout.
I went to the mall to get the walflower plug ins and Umi.
Over all not a bad day. I feel fairly rested even though my body still aches from the past few months.
But I still feel unfulfilled. Like I want to be gone forever.
I know I don't like my job, and I know I hate the way I'm treated but I feel so broken.
I feel like there has to be something super wrong with me because I don't even want to reach out for help. I don't want to call a physician or a therapist I would rather just deal with it until shit gets real again.
over a week ago, 2 weeks Saturday all my costumes went missing and I had to rush around to find replacements. I was angry and punched my kitchen table flat fisted and hurt my knuckle bad and it still hurts in yet I feel the need to stay stagnant because I don't want to keep opening up to people because then it will seem to fake and I won't ever get help.
This whole process is shitty and I know I can't get instant help but I don't know what else to do because my brain is a fucking mess.
I walked for coffee and went for lunch with my Grammie.
I took out the bong, cleaned it up nice, watched Spiderman Homecoming and played Fallout.
I went to the mall to get the walflower plug ins and Umi.
Over all not a bad day. I feel fairly rested even though my body still aches from the past few months.
But I still feel unfulfilled. Like I want to be gone forever.
I know I don't like my job, and I know I hate the way I'm treated but I feel so broken.
I feel like there has to be something super wrong with me because I don't even want to reach out for help. I don't want to call a physician or a therapist I would rather just deal with it until shit gets real again.
over a week ago, 2 weeks Saturday all my costumes went missing and I had to rush around to find replacements. I was angry and punched my kitchen table flat fisted and hurt my knuckle bad and it still hurts in yet I feel the need to stay stagnant because I don't want to keep opening up to people because then it will seem to fake and I won't ever get help.
This whole process is shitty and I know I can't get instant help but I don't know what else to do because my brain is a fucking mess.
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