Every time it gets cold and turns to fall I am ready to quit.
It's the sign of a new year, and the sign of me still doing the same stupid shit over and over again.
I smell the air and I get butterflies thinking about my first days of school and what it felt like to have purpose or just something to do that was "good" for me.
I don't know how to describe it.
I don't know how to explain it.
It is nostalgic but at the same time nauseating.
Another year, the same sad person who doesn't fit in any where.
Another year of tears and sadness.
Another year of the same bullshit monotony.
They say "Good thing's come to those who wait" I don't know how much longer I can wait honestly. I am getting so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
My teeth hurt, my chest is heavy. I feel my hands getting colder and colder as the days go by.
Hell it is already dark enough I need headlights when I go to work."
That stresses me out because that means HOLIDAY's.
It means money I don't have to spend.
Money that I have to put on my Butler bill.
Money that could have been saved had I had sought out help before it got this bad.
Now I am going to have $3,000 in hospital bills, my car, my credit card, my rent that just went up and I'm still broke as a joke.
I'm still waiting for any sort of consistency in my life.
I'm just waiting.
With everyone's weight on my back.
It's the sign of a new year, and the sign of me still doing the same stupid shit over and over again.
I smell the air and I get butterflies thinking about my first days of school and what it felt like to have purpose or just something to do that was "good" for me.
I don't know how to describe it.
I don't know how to explain it.
It is nostalgic but at the same time nauseating.
Another year, the same sad person who doesn't fit in any where.
Another year of tears and sadness.
Another year of the same bullshit monotony.
They say "Good thing's come to those who wait" I don't know how much longer I can wait honestly. I am getting so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
My teeth hurt, my chest is heavy. I feel my hands getting colder and colder as the days go by.
Hell it is already dark enough I need headlights when I go to work."
That stresses me out because that means HOLIDAY's.
It means money I don't have to spend.
Money that I have to put on my Butler bill.
Money that could have been saved had I had sought out help before it got this bad.
Now I am going to have $3,000 in hospital bills, my car, my credit card, my rent that just went up and I'm still broke as a joke.
I'm still waiting for any sort of consistency in my life.
I'm just waiting.
With everyone's weight on my back.
Comments
Post a Comment