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Not...

Taking my meds or going to see any one.
I will admit, not my best choice.
At least the meds were keeping me from crying every 2 seconds.
Now we are back to that. 

They also made me a little less angry all the time.
Like this morning where I ripped the boy a new asshole because I suggested we swap cars and take each- others car but then in the morning it sounded like a much better idea apparently.
I don't even feel bad because that is my life.
*Presents Idea*
"HERE ARE 50,000,000,000 reasons why I won't, why this won't work, why it's not working."
1 Day Later...
"HEY GUYS I HAVE THIS IDEA" Bravo, everyone is happy you stole an idea and you get all the praise while I sit here and just go fuck myself. 
I just need to make time to go to the doctors again. And maybe find a new Psychiatrist because things are just not great. And I'm sick of just being cast aside always. Why is the universe always fucking fighting against me.
Like the apartment we looked at. I loved it. It was honestly so great. But of course someone wants to move in now and they were first but I didn't even see this add that has been up for 22 days. Like how. I check so many sites every day...
I just feel like we are never going to catch a fucking break.

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But one person already...

Rubs me the wrong fucking way. He is sitting there joking around about having the girl run him over. And he is just making stupid comments about wanting to die & whatever... Do you wake up everyday and feel like a useless, helpless, hopeless??? You legit say you go to parties which means you have time & friends. Maybe that means you have financial security, a solid and safe roof over your head,and your rent is clearly managable because you are planning to buy a house? Don't joke about wanting to die when some of us struggle and fight everyday to find the Strength & will to keep waking up . . .