I just feel like a ball of tin foil in a microwave.
Everyday is a fucking test.
I swear I cannot handle this.
I have no time. I ate dinner at 8pm again last night...
I just feel like I cannot keep up.
Still no word from the apartment folks so who knows maybe on top of me not getting the position I will also not get the apartment because if there is any inkling of what this year will be like that will be a good 3rd chapter I suppose.
AND ALL MY WORK PLAYS IS FUCKING ARIANA GRANDE AND I CAN'T.
I can't even have working headphones.
AND THEN on top of all of this I am the worst friend and I cannot help her with her bills. I have given her any extra money I could. And I feel helpless because if I didn't buy any green stuff or if I just didn't eat so much, or just skip meals when I don't have one, maybe I would be more wealthy and skinny. Maybe if I didn't waste my money on makeup that will not get me anywhere but "wow nice pic" on instagram. I waste so much money on what? Memories that will fade and disappear with time? For what? To go home to people I call my family that just want to use me, just like my job does? I just feel like a handkerchief that people can't stop blowing their nose into...
FUCK.
Everyday is a fucking test.
I swear I cannot handle this.
I have no time. I ate dinner at 8pm again last night...
I just feel like I cannot keep up.
Still no word from the apartment folks so who knows maybe on top of me not getting the position I will also not get the apartment because if there is any inkling of what this year will be like that will be a good 3rd chapter I suppose.
AND ALL MY WORK PLAYS IS FUCKING ARIANA GRANDE AND I CAN'T.
I can't even have working headphones.
AND THEN on top of all of this I am the worst friend and I cannot help her with her bills. I have given her any extra money I could. And I feel helpless because if I didn't buy any green stuff or if I just didn't eat so much, or just skip meals when I don't have one, maybe I would be more wealthy and skinny. Maybe if I didn't waste my money on makeup that will not get me anywhere but "wow nice pic" on instagram. I waste so much money on what? Memories that will fade and disappear with time? For what? To go home to people I call my family that just want to use me, just like my job does? I just feel like a handkerchief that people can't stop blowing their nose into...
FUCK.
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