IAmAdrianna

I got a nice desk with my promotion. But now I am loosing that. I have to go back into the warehouse where I will be bothered and annoyed by everyone. I am livid. I just feel so fucking invalid all of the time and this just feels like the cherry on top. I can't even leave anything in that office because someone will steal it because there are a bunch of shitbags here. Invalid at work, invalid at home. I'm sick of not being enough. Hell I still probably won't even get a pay bump until next year. So that's fucking rad.

I just don't understand why people don't go out of the way for me. Because I am a bitch? Because I tell it like it is? But then you are all okay with people who play pretend all the time? Making up stories and untrue events? People that MAKE THEIR OWN ISSUES. In yet here I am trying to work my ass off to get somewhere in life and everyone is still above me. Still doing all these things, making all these friendships and I just sit here with the only other friend I have, that suffers the same bullshit I do. I am so frustrated that I looked on facebook. FOMO is everywhere. But I guess it isn't fear of missing out. It is just genuinely missing out all the time. I feel so fucking alienated all the time.

I am so tired. We got another cat, who just wants to love our cat and she is like NOPE. I have been so busy between work and dog walks. Today will be another day where I am not home until late. The boy has a show tonight. I really fucking hate that he does this. I know you have passions and stuff but the repercussions of your actions is what you need to think about. Especially when you are playing music and no one can hear you. It is a waste of time, effort and money. The boy can say whatever he wants about me and Mary  but I don't stop working. I don't get the luxury to go to the gym every day. I'm lucky if I eat dinner before 7 most days. This just doesn't feel at all fair. I don't do anything, and I can't do anything because I am so busy or I am so devoted to everyone else's time. I'm just fucking tired.