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I don't know what to do.

I keep getting told the same nonsense.
I wanted to kill myself not to long ago.
Everyday I have a battle with that person.
I have to sit here and tell myself that I can't and should be thinking like that.
I have to sit here and tell myself that I'm crazy to be thinking like that and shouldn't.
The only routine I have been able to keep up with is walking the dog, taking a daily shower.
And doing the dishes.
Not to say I wasn't lazy because I cleaned some shit out of my fridge that made me queasy.
But I am so fucking lost.
The little bit of "connection" that I had has long since gone.
I already felt so distant.
Now I am even more distant.

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