Vomit

My anxiety builds like
stacking blocks
suds in the bubble bath
water boiling
baking soda and vinegar
Whatever other volatile explosion type situation you can think of
I hit the point where I can't take it any more.
Then it all comes out, even if I don't mean it too
Just spills out and pours over
And I say everything
Even the things I should just keep in my head
Word vomit
But if I deserve happiness why does a lot of this make me so unhappy
Why do I feel like every day I am apart of some game, an NPC that has a small little side quest.
And all I want is to be okay
To find the love and the happiness
That everyone seems to think I deserve
But instead I bottle up my thoughts and feelings
Keep them hidden, locked away
Swallowed the key
And that's why my stomach always hurts.