I want to quit.

I feel fucking invisible.

I could stand on my porch and jump off and hang myself and I don't think anyone would bat an eye.

I thought these feelings were gone.

I thought I beat them.

But here they are as i sit helpless and alone in an apartment that I can't afford with no room mate because no one wants to live anywhere but Providence.

And I have to sit here and be everyone's punching bag when they need it.

I might get my car back tomorrow but it doesn't matter. Not like I do anything. 

Not like I go anywhere.

Not like anyone gives a shit if they see me or not.

I have so much shit swimming around in my brain always.

I really wanted to not think like this again...

But here I am. Alone. It seems almost too easy.

I'm trying. I really am. 

I've slept almost all day after waking up and being nauseous all morning and forcing myself to eat.

I am only taking food photos so people can see that I did eat and they can leave me alone.

But it's fine. 

No one will see this and actually give a shit. 

No one will see this and think it's anything more than me screaming out an empty threat.

I'll just drift off into the invisible so everyone can forget that I exist and they can carry on with their lives as they did before with out me.