IAmAdrianna

 If I could go back in time and punch myself in the face and tell myself to get my life together before it gets worse...

 I have to wait another month to get my car fixed. So that means: 1. Every other time I start my car I have to open my hood, put a bungie chord on the wire that goes from my starter to the battery, hang on to the bungie, get back in my car and wiggle the bungie while turning my key. While doing so I need to      a) Make sure no one hits me     b) Make sure no one hits my half open door     c) Make sure I don't pull too hard     d) Make sure once I get it started I don't hit my hand or the bungie on anything inside the car while its on its way out.      1.1. If someone else is there (i.e my partner) I can simply pop the hood and wiggle the wire while he turns the key making a much quicker start. 2. I will now have to go to the air pump at least twice a week to get air in my tires because my 2 left ones are leaking. So that is like $700 on top of whatever I will pay to fix the above issue. 3. Can't get tires until after the ...

 Well when I was almost done nannying a headache turned to nausea. Nausea grew strong and I had to go. I got to my car put my stuff in and vomitted outside of my car. Then my car wouldn't start so I had (fucking thankfully) one piece of the alka seltzer gum to sooth my nausea. And then I did the stupid bungie thing to start my car.  I am getting so tired of this.

 3 of 4 of my ex's are married. 1 has a child. And all the brides? Good friends that they have had or that they said not to worry about.  (Remember when you told me "he is a keeper" and then he cheated on me and lied?) I kept thinking it has to be me. But these assholes knew all along.  They knew that they didn't love me because they didn't know what love was. I showed them love and then they ran into someone else's arms to show them. Everytime I said I wanted to leave. Everytime I said I didn't feel in love anymore it got twisted back to me. "Well you this and you that". You can't blame my depression or my anxiety on the fact that you have no communication skills and no regard for anyones feelings simply because you have none.  I am really trying to be done with figuring out why I am so broken. Because I think I know why. I give so much to everyone. Ask me to "Jump" and I say "How High?". I devote time and effort to every...