Blur

I feel like this year has just been a blur.
I am doing my best to keep everything together but hearing that "if we do decide to get outside child care we wouldn't just do it, we would make sure you are good first" like yeah sure.
Set me up at a receptionist job where I have to keep my hair brown, not have piercings and cover up my tattoos.
I already took out my lip piercings ffs.
And not to mention that with a mask on IT DOESN'T matter anyway.
And then on top of it, being in an apartment swarming with negative and bad memories in a loud ghetto ass area where I just constantly have to deal with bullshit in this slowly deteriorating building.

I want to leave Rhode Island but I really just want to move out of New England and I just know if and when I decide to, I will be going alone because I am selfish or something.
But I think in order for me to be truly happy I need to start fresh. But I really don't want to do it alone.