IAmAdrianna

I don't get it. I don't get people.  I don't get the games that people play.  I don't understand why everyone loves and hates me so much. The extremes are EXTREME. People claim that they care. But no one asks me what is wrong when something is actually wrong. And if I just chose to be silent then SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG and everyone hops on my dick. I cannot win.  I do not want to sit there and fake it to someone for friendship. So far in life I have never been THE FRIEND because I either wasn't allowed to go out and do anything and couldn't sneak out. Too poor. Work to much. "Oh well I just thought" did you? Nah don't give me that.  If you were that oblivious then you wouldn't have a fan club. I am so sick of being blamed to talking and saying things when I don't do it because I want to, I do it  beccause it is asked of me.  So don't ask for my opinion and then proceed to pick on me and tell me I am wrong.  I never have had to set boun...

It was just weird. And I want to talk to someone about it.  But I just can't because there isn't anyone.

I try to fix things for others and I can't even fix things myself. I can't pay my rent or my bills. I live alone. I am never there so poor Everett is always home without me.  I can't get a second job that wouldn't: 1. Interfere with my other job 2. Pay me enough to make a Monday through Thursday worth it 3. Allow me to have any semblance of a life. I feel like just moving and not telling anyone.  Disappearing and starting over. Or just cutting ties with every relationship I have and have to work all day and night to stay in the most out dated, unsafe, loud ass apartment. I don't even have words anymore.