failiure,

 If you would have told me I would be living alone in 2022, freezing in a house with my poor cat who doesn't deserve this, never getting paid for working in yet still trying to scrounge up money for rent and bills. All my money goes to living in that shithole. Or trying to make crafts and things that just fail. 

All I do is fail.
I can't be positive and happy when it's just never enough.
Because I can't pay my rent because I simply wish it so, I can't make it warmer in my house with a shiny attitude. You try and get anything acomplished when the world around you has you trapped in quicksand. You try getting anything acomplished when you just can't catch a break and everything around you is too high up to reach. I have been reaching out and every rope I grab just falls like I am being tricked. Like I am being suckered in.

I go home every day after work, sometimes I come back but most times now I go home and just get high and get lost in TV because my life feels so wasted. Even when I try to be apart of something or do something I am never enough.
I am not allowed to complain and I am expected by everyone to be complacent... But it is okay for everyone else to do EXACTLY what I do, but not me. Not allowed. I am the negative one. The annoying one. I am the one on this magical mystery misery tour. And it is some how my fault dispite constantly trying and constantly fighting to only get thrown back down to the ground.

Fuck 2022 honestly.
Another year that makes me wish I wasn't.